My life is Untitled

So, funny thing. I forgot my Tumblr password. I couldn’t log in on any other computer. On my laptop, Firefox has the password saved. Good thing. ANYWAY! I’M BACK. Sorta.

You discover you cut yourself and you’re bleeding, but have no idea why or how it happened, or how long it’s been there.

And suddenly you think..

I’m such a badass.

I don’t have anyone to talk to so here we go again.

So, we’ve been living in this apartment for two semesters. I’m sure some of you have heard about it. It is the basement of a 100 year old house that’s ready to fucking fall apart on top of us. That’s besides the point of this rant, however.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that we probably wont find a cheaper place close to campus, so have not really been searching hard for other apartments. The dilemma for this summer was whether or not the bitch (landlord that’s as old as this house, i call her the bitch) would let us keep our shit here while we moved back home, and granted us a lower payment for two months since we wont even be here. I figure its a good deal, since we’re planning on staying/coming back for the fall. She doesn’t have to find more renters and we don’t have to move our shit. Easy, right? Of course, who knows what the bitch wants. She’s certifiably insane by my standards, so we had no idea what she’d agree to.

Well, on the first we proposed our idea to her, and she was like yeah ok, 450 for two months instead of one. Wonderful. That was easy. Well, I was planning on asking her to let me keep my dog with us, and give a good argument. You know, he doesn’t bark, chew, is well behaved, house trained, not a big shedder. All true except maybe for the last one. Plus I was going to offer to pay an additional deposit and clean up all his doo in the back yard, even though its mostly gravel and mud anyway.

Well, today she comes to get her money for the summer and I pretty much figured it was a done deal, she’d let me keep my dog. Who could say no, right? Well, I hardly got to argue anything. I said the word dog and she flipped out.. in her own, special insane way. Let me elaborate.

“OH, MERCY NO WE’VE NEVER LET ANYONE HAVE A DOG. OH WELL ONE TIME WE ALLOWED PETS AND THE PLACE WAS JUST UGH AND WE HAD TO OH MY LAWD WE COULDN’T RENT THE PLACE FOR MONTHS IT WAS SO BADOMIGAWSH HONEY NO. YOU KNOW I’VE BEEN MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND FOR FIFTY YEARS (Which she says pretty much every time we speak) AND WE’VE NEVER HAD ONE ANIMAL. I SAY NOT ONE ANIMAL NO CREATURES IN OUR HOUSE NOT EVEN OUTSIDE, OH LORDY. I TELL PEOPLE YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY, I TELL PEOPLE MY HUSBAND IS THE ONLY ANIMAL I ALLOW IN MY HOUSE [Pause for crazy lady laughter and swatting at air]. ANYWAY DEAR NO, NO NO. WE CANT ALLOW PETS THEY ARE JUST SO OH LAWDY. YEAH I’D SAY YES BUT NO OH NO NO PETS NO DOGS NO CATS. DONT YOU HAVE THEM LITTLE BITTIES IN A CAGE SOMEWHERE? OH YES. NO, NO DOGS. OKAY WELL HUN I’M OFF. I JUST WANTED TO SAY FUCK YOU AND HAVE A NICE FOREVER.”

Last sentence was fabricated but that’s pretty much what she could have said. And yes, she yells in run-on sentences. She doesn’t speak, she yells.

So. I go inside and cry because I’m so frustrated. I really thought the bitch would let me have him. I need him. Out of spite I google apartments, go on craigslist and find something.

Something wonderful.

$385 a month, one bed one bath, all electric and water included. Two blocks from campus. PETS ALLOWED.

I shat myself.

Call the guy and he says he MIGHT have one in June if the lady doesn’t renew her lease. Other than that he won’t know if he has anything for fall until July.

I’m calling that fucker June 1st and every day until August if I have to. That apartment will be mine.

I’m thinking of ways I can say FUCK YOU in a nice, passive aggressive way to that bitch for denying me my dog. I’ll write an awful review about this apartment and she’ll never be able to rent it. Maybe I’ll turn on all the water before we leave and since she pays all water, HAHA. Plus nobody else in the house will have hot water and she’ll get complaints from them until she thinks to check the basement. And then when she comes in it will be overrun with ants and bugs of all kinds because it always is. Fuck you. Fuck you very much.

the passionate, burning desire i have to go buy a new ps3 so i can finally

PLAY SKYRIM AGAIN.

WHY BREAK, EVERYTHING?

WORLD HATE ME.

(Source: astellarperception)